Sunday, July 24, 2011

What If?

I grew up reading the What If? comics by Marvel.  Lately I've been thinking, "What if God is never done with us?"

I have been leading members of the faith community I oversee in reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  Something I always try to do is to open myself to transformation in the midst of leading a study so that I get to experience the study WITH the community members.  It's happening again and now I'm wondering, "What if God is never finished with us?"

Normally that wouldn't be a terrifying question, but when you let go of everything you are comfortable with, and a vocational expression of call that you are comfortable in, to move into the new place God wants you to be, it becomes a somewhat terrifying question to consider.

What if where I am today is not where God intends to leave me?  What if where I am right now is merely another signpost along the way of this journey?  Am I a pan of brownies in God's oven that never gets completely cooked?  Or do I finally get to be "done," "finished," or will I ever finally "arrive" at my destination?

I'm asking the questions because I know others may be dealing with them, too.  I've had many people over eleven-ish years of ministry ask me, "What's my purpose in life?"  And I've replied back to them, "Love God with everything you have every single day, and love people, too."  Usually, they look at me with a little bit of disappointment mixed with frustration and say, "That's it?"  And I say back, "That's it."

Now I'm understanding that to say, "That's it," minimizes how far that little purpose can take us.  Every day I'm trying to figure out what it means to love God with everything I have, and that quest takes me higher and deeper in relationship with my Creator, Savior and Sustainer than I can even imagine.

And tonight, I'm a little afraid, because I know, deep down inside this neurotic, tongue-tied little heart of mine that I am not done yet and I have not arrived and I should not get comfortable.  I know that there is more out there for me to do and find in my relationship with God and that to respond will require trust and nothing more.  It is the proverbial "no extra sandals, no money, and no walking stick"--or maybe not so proverbial.

I guess I'll finish up with this.  What if today was the day that you really, honestly and truly, loved God with everything that you are and loved your neighbor as you love yourself?  How far would it take you from where you are right now and how scared does that thought make you?  If it doesn't scare you the way it scares me, maybe you aren't considering it as seriously as you should.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing

For about 75 minutes today I sat in a video teleconference (VTC) listening to someone rationalize why my context of ministry was getting the amount of money it was getting.  It was a mathematical justification, not a ministerial justification. The dollar figure was based on how much money I said I needed (based on standardized institutional ministries) as compared to other folks in my region--and when all the chips hit the floor an average was calculated and I was deemed "somewhat efficient" and given X amount of money.


75 minutes to explain that.


A good friend of mine spent a fair amount of time on VTC of a different breed (Skype) with pastors from his area as they tried to figure out why he needed to continue his sabbatical and season of discernment.


My point:


The system needs to stop serving the system and start serving the people. The system needs to flatten and dispose of all the standardized boxes they expect ministry to fit into and let the Called live out their calling. 


Why are churches and ministries suffering?  


Because the system wants the communities to serve the system instead of the system empowering the communities to serve people.


In the book Community and Growth Jean Vanier writes:


A Community that is committed to itself--to appearing perfect, stable and secure--rather than to people...is like a person giving an address who is more interested in the beauty and coherence of the talk rather than in whether the audience can hear and understand it...It is like a beautiful liturgy that no one can follow and during which people have difficulty praying.
The community (i.e. Institution) needs to stop being committed to itself--whether that community is the larger systems of the Church or some other institution.  It's like the shift that has occurred in corporate America.  There was a time when companies cared about stakeholders more than they cared about shareholders--to where did that mentality disappear?  Now there are institutions that call themselves people driven and Christ centered who only desire to have the institution maintained and have stopped caring about the people inside.


If this shift from serving the institution to serving people doesn't happen then we look like idiots telling tales that are full of Sound and Fury yet signifying nothing.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

When God shows up at the Motel 6

And we're here now feeling the beat
Of a thousand hearts
Coming back to life again
We can make it

"Anthem for the Underdog" by 12 Stones.

I admit that I'm a junkie for being part of a moment when people "get it", when hearts come back to life again.

I witnessed one of those moments last night. And I got so excited I think I scared the person.

But this mother of three little girls says in our Book Study last night, "I struggle with the whole semantic thing of 'going to worship.' I want to worship all the time, everywhere.  I want it to ooze out of my skin!"

Yeah, hearts coming back to life again.

Why do I do what I do?  Because of moments like that.  I'm hooked on it.  I'm addicted to being in the room when God shows up and turns on the light bulb in the hearts of others.

And yes, we'll leave the light on for you...

Pacem.


Thinking Out Loud

"Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit, I"

Those words are from "Learning to Fly" by Pink Floyd.

I keep hoping that maybe someday I will have learned the skill.  But learning I remain.

There is a passion in my soul, a fire in my belly, a dream in my heart and the more I chase it the more elusive it becomes.  I used the lyrics from Learning to Fly because right now I feel so tounge-tied when it comes to the Dream that's been sown into the soil of my being.

I am reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan with some members of the Chapel Community I am so blessed to nurture and last night I shared my epiphany that I still compartmentalize my life.  I confessed that my walk of discipleship can be more professional than personal.

I have spent a lot of time telling people that they need to get out of the box; that they have to get out of the boat and meet Christ on the raging waters....and that if they keep their eyes on Him they can do anything.
And yet if I look deep into my soul, I think I just keep moving into different boats.

Maybe you don't want to hear this... 

Mabye I'm just bored with adminstrivia...

But I know there is a dream out there, still, that's waiting for me to chase it.  I told somebody what it looked like once.  Once. (tip of the hat to Johnny Dangerously, there). 

The thing is, I know I could run that sucker down, too.

Anyway, just thinking out loud.

Don't panic.  (But always have your towel handy...)

Pacem.